Katherine.

While at university I became acquainted with a certain girl, who for the purposes of this blog, will be named Katherine Heigl. The reason behind this nickname is due to the fact that when my friend and I first met her, she sort of resembled the famous actress; however, after getting to know her it became really apparent that we were wrong on so many levels. Unfortunately, the name stuck and I can't be bothered with coming up with something else. 

Anyways, Katherine is a full fledge over-achiever and tends to brag A LOT. And I can't stand her. I had her in many of my classes, seeing as we both are in the same program. In each class when the opportunity presented itself, she'd do a poised hair flip then explain how her parents are musicians and how her she rides a unicycle and blah blah blah I'm so smart blah blah blah. One time when we were riding the elevator together she muttered to herself about how her 90% wasn't good enough and how she was going to "bitch the professor out to get a couple more marks added". Oh my gosh. I don't think I've ever rolled my eyes as much as I did in those 30 seconds.

I'm sure you have people like this in your life; individuals who just annoy you to your wits end. They may be a sibling or a friend's boyfriend or even a classmate and just by the way they act or carry themselves, makes you want to punch a hole in the wall (too much?). Unless their behaviour is actually on purpose, it's hard to reason with him or her because they don't understand what they're doing. What I suggest instead of wasting your time (and having an unhealthy build up of resentment) is to simply let it go. 

I'm not insane, I really do believe that the easiest thing to do is just let it go. If someone's making a complete ass (excuse my french) of themselves, then let them. It does not reflect on your personality what they do. And honestly, you don't need the added stress in your life. Take a deep breath and forget about it. I'm not saying that I practice what I preach 100% of the time. (hypocritical much?) The reason I decided to write this blog post is because I got a Facebook message from Katherine asking for me to help complain with her and I just needed to vent. But I realize that her actions don't need to affect my mood. 

So sorry Katherine Heigl, but no I will not be emailing our professor and demand that he change the final mark of your exam; the past is in the past and honey, I just don't care. 

Diary of an Embarrassed Fool

I always remember my most embarrassing moments the last couple of seconds before I fall asleep. Right before my brain hits snooze for the night (or morning since university has ruined my sleeping pattern), all I can think about is the mistakes I've made and all the things I wish I had done. It's a constant cycle of self pity and regret that seems to turn faster right before I fall unconscious. 

I remember the moment when I opened my mouth and the brilliant comeback or witty joke I so masterfully thought up comes out in a combination of words and phrases that have no business being strung together. Or when on a spurt of confidence, I dared to take a chance and the only thing that changed was the colour of my cheeks as they turning a noticeable shade of crimson.  An uneasy laugh or a blank stare is sure to follow, then I have to uncomfortably explain myself to avoid looking and sounding like a complete lunatic. 

It's my life. It's a day-to-day occurrence for me and I'm fairly certain I'm not alone on this. 

I'm awkward. I'm socially uncomfortable.

Maybe it's because I grew up in a generation where typing and messaging holds greater importance than verbally speaking to a friend. Or perhaps I have crippling anxiety, which makes the very thought of doing something on my own sound similar to torture. 

Likelihood it's a bit of both. The mixture of the two makes it impossible to create a sentence without it being littered with "um's" or "like's" and is probably the reason why I avoid answering all phone calls.  

I understand that these moments possibly could help me 'grow' but for me they are a horrible reminder that I'm just a tad bit odd. Maybe in twenty years I'll look back on this first blog post and laugh at how silly I sounded. I'm a young adult who doesn't know how good I have it! I'll say to myself.  (whatever this it is) But at the moment, I'm stuck in a rut of doing awkward things while I try to avoid it. Ironic. 

This blog is a way for me to scribble down the jargon in my mind; a diary of sorts that not only is filled with stories, but ideas and dreams. I'm not promising much, realistically I would be pleased if you learned from my mistakes, but I do promise to be faithful. 

And at often times, very awkward. Laters! x